Potential excellent, execution flawed... bestrewn through a jumbled outpouring of information there are the strands of a good plot in which to embroil the characters, but it is difficult to tease them out into an organised storyline.
So a bank robbery has taken place... for a start, there is absolutely no indication of why the party should get involved. The limited amount of information that is made public (that the characters could reasonably have access to) is muddled up with details of what was actually going on, likewise the evidence that they can unearth should they decide to start investigating.
The annoying thing is, it is a very good plot... there is plenty of scope for getting characters into all sorts of trouble, with different factions involved and the potential for an interesting news story as well. There's even a good handout in the shape of the local broadsheet newspaper headlines of the robbery to hand to your players. A sensible structure, an introduction explaining how the whole affair comes to the party's attention, then a logical description of what can be discovered and how coupled with the background of what's really taking place and I would be shouting how wonderful this is...
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